The Art of Hitchhiking

Until a few minutes ago, it was the infinite stretch of road that ruminatively attracted the gaze of a seeker. The subject of that earnest look is now a moving object. With the most innocent of intentions and in expectation of something filled with rapture, he extends his arm most gently. However, the one who is sought so dearly seems to be on his way of attending a matter of national concern. For him, therefore, everything else is trivial. In a moment he passes his seeker like a flash. And now the “road” is there again to be looked at, ruminatively—

Hitchhiking

It is often the scene in the business of hitchhiking—especially when a naïve is at work. However, for a veteran, who is most careful in the manner of his approach, this exercise is often fruitful. I have experienced it with tremendous rate of success for two consecutive years. Each day it was normal to work it four to five times, covering about 13-14 kilometers, in different parts of the city and at varied times of the day. Naturally such an exposure gives great insight. Here, for the sake of change and withdrawing from the nature of topics I have been recently dealing with, I will share a few tricks of the trade which I feel helped me to make my wallet weigh a little heavier.

Before I begin I must make sure you are aware that these tricks have their space domain in India and on the great Indian roads—it may or may not work on others depending on the psychology of its natives. Here we start! The most important of all traits that must not abandon a hitchhiker: a will not to be embarrassed. The more stringently you are cornered, embarrassed, looked down at, the stronger your will should become. The seeds of successful hitchhiker germinate only in those who could stand all day long despite being unlucky, although that rarely occurs, only to be observed if a meteorite falls on whosoever stops driving for a moment.

Next on our rulebook is what vehicle to avoid. Bicycle is cornered without consideration unless the situation is so grave that you will die if not carried by someone. Scooters too are better, if avoided, the reason being scooter drivers are hypochondriac on behalf of their means of transport. It bothers them constantly—the chronic ailment of their conveyance—and one more pedestrian, an aspiring copilot, would only add to woes, may even serve as the cause of death for the ailing creature. That’s what they think when they turn their heads in order to avoid the pleader. Girls and women should also be avoided in India because they give you such a stare as if you are not from Earth, not Mars, not even Venus but from Pluto and instead of being helped by them you are there to escort them to Pluto. We have done enough about what to avoid. Now what place to choose? Select an area where vehicles naturally slow down just like around speed breakers. Slowing provides more time for thoughts to settle down—obviously of the driver’s. If there is nothing to curb down the speed then be sure to signal your intent from a long distance for you must provide your to-be benefactor a good time to judge. Otherwise before he sees you well, he will be past you. Rarely anyone stops after one has gone past the threshold. Make sure that you don’t present your side view or your back to the driver. Instead, you should not be unwilling to face directly opposite, signaling with your left thumb and keeping free your right hand. This way the driver can get a good and comprehensive look at you from a long distance. Stand apart from other public for they may distract the full attention you may get while you are alone. Don’t make the blunder of signalling heavy vehicles like trucks when they have no way of naturally slowing down. They will not stop; however, you may take your chances with light vehicles although it is not advisable. Never try to hitchhike while simultaneously walking. It gives an impression that you can reach where you want to by mere walking. The greatest chance you have of being hitchhiked in India is by a policeman. Policemen are generally not afraid of being played foul as most of the other drivers are. The other reason stands as—they themselves are greatest of all hitchhikers. Obviously they reciprocate when they are awarded.

Half of your chances rest on the way you present your face and the way you signal your intent. You should not show too much eagerness although you do harbour it clandestinely. Neither you should be completely loose. Be as natural as you can, communicating silently to the driver that he is not the only one in the world who would stop for you, nor it is that you are gesturing at him for the sake of gesturing. Try not to avoid his questioning glance when he turns to you to inquire silently. You answer silently. The more time he gets to judge, the more chance you have. Don’t let your arm droop unless he goes past you. Never let your shout of destination serve as a tool to stop the driver while he is still driving. It will definitely kill 90 % of your chance even though he is heading for the same destination. If you are carrying a school bag, it is an advantage although a school bag appearing more like luggage is disheartening.

I have often seen many practicing this art alongside me. I would say not all were committed to a particular mistake but yes a significant number of them were. They would get in position as I have previously described, like stand facing the driver directly opposite, but due to some sort of torture by their conscience, a lingering guilt or shame of unknown origin, they would raise their left arm reluctantly and gradually as if they had been trying to do something else but by mere chance they would not be unhappy if someone stops by and offer them a free travel. This is catastrophic for a hitchhiker, but not serious. Another mistake which is serious but not catastrophic arises when you have several candidates competing in the vicinity. They all stand in a group thereby making it ambiguous who is the deserving one. An orderly air to the ambiguity can be provided by maintaining a necessary distance—of about 10m—between each of them, linearly.

Like all trades, this one too has its own unwritten ethics. You will never mislead the pilot in order to gain leverage of an extra mile thereby making him drive away from his usual path. Always try to help your friends, who are still tyros, by offering them fruits of your bait or by overloading so that your skill is recognized as a social one. Well, you are already working for a social benefit by increasing the efficiency of an otherwise inefficient ride.